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The Feedback Sandwich is Rubbish: Why Most Workplace Feedback Fails (And What Actually Works)
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Sit in any management training workshop across Australia and you'll hear the same tired advice about feedback. "Start with something positive, slip in the criticism, then end with encouragement." The feedback sandwich. What absolute nonsense.
I've spent seventeen years in corporate training, from the mining sites of Perth to the glass towers of Sydney, and I can tell you this: the feedback sandwich is the reason most workplace conversations feel like awkward dinner parties where nobody says what they really mean.
Here's what actually works. And it's going to challenge everything your HR department has told you.
The Problem With "Nice" Feedback
Most Australians are conflict-averse by nature. We'd rather say "no worries" when there clearly are worries than have an uncomfortable conversation. This cultural quirk, combined with management training that prioritises politeness over clarity, has created a generation of leaders who give feedback that's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
I learned this the hard way in 2019. Managing a team of twenty-three people, I was diligently following the feedback formula I'd been taught. Sarah from marketing wasn't meeting deadlines, but I started every conversation with praise about her "creative approach" before mentioning the missed deadlines, then ending with encouragement about her "potential."
Three months later, Sarah was still missing deadlines. Why? Because she genuinely thought she was doing well.
The feedback sandwich had turned crucial information into background noise.
What High Performers Actually Want
Here's something that might surprise you: 89% of high performers prefer direct feedback over cushioned criticism. They want to know where they stand, what needs improving, and how to get there. The dance around feelings actually insults their intelligence.
Think about it. When someone says, "You're really great at presentations, but maybe you could work on being more concise, though overall you're fantastic," what do you actually remember? The praise or the problem?
Most people remember the nice bits and ignore the improvement area entirely.
The Direct Approach That Actually Works
Forget the sandwich. Try this instead:
State the specific behaviour. Not "you need to communicate better" but "in yesterday's client meeting, you interrupted the client twice when they were explaining their budget constraints."
Explain the impact. "This made them visibly uncomfortable and they stopped sharing details about their decision-making process."
Ask for their perspective. "What's your take on that situation?"
Agree on next steps. "How do you want to handle similar situations moving forward?"
That's it. No fluff, no emotional cushioning, no fake positives. Just clear, actionable information delivered with respect.
The Cultural Shift We Need
The Melbourne-based consulting firm Atlassian gets this right. Their feedback culture is built on what they call "radical candour" – caring personally while challenging directly. It's not about being harsh; it's about being honest enough to help people improve.
Compare this to many Australian workplaces where feedback sessions sound like this: "You're doing really well overall, maybe just think about possibly considering whether you might want to look at perhaps improving your time management, but honestly, you're great!"
Translation: "You're always late and it's affecting the team." But the person receiving this feedback will walk away thinking they're performing well with minor areas for tweaking.
Why We Avoid Real Feedback (And Why That's Hurting Everyone)
Fear of conflict. Most managers avoid difficult conversations because they imagine dramatic emotional reactions. In reality, people handle direct feedback better than we think.
Lack of training. We teach managers how to conduct performance reviews, not how to have meaningful conversations about improvement.
Misunderstanding kindness. Being "nice" isn't the same as being kind. Kindness sometimes means having the difficult conversation that helps someone grow.
I see this constantly in workplace training sessions. Managers will spend forty minutes explaining how to deliver feedback gently when they could spend that time helping their team member solve the actual problem.
The Brisbane Test
Here's a simple test I use with clients. If you were explaining this feedback to your mate over a beer in Brisbane, how would you say it? That's probably closer to how you should say it at work.
"Mate, you keep cutting people off in meetings. It's starting to tick people off."
Versus the corporate version: "We've noticed some opportunities for enhancement in your collaborative communication style during group discussions."
Which one would actually help you change your behaviour?
Getting Specific About Improvement
Vague feedback is worse than no feedback. "Be more proactive" tells someone nothing. "Book client check-ins within 48 hours of project milestones" gives them something concrete to action.
I once worked with a sales team in Adelaide where the manager kept telling his reps to "improve their phone skills." Six months of frustration later, we discovered he specifically meant they needed to ask for the decision-maker by name instead of asking to "speak to whoever handles purchasing." One specific behaviour change, massive improvement in results.
The Follow-Up That Everyone Forgets
Here's where most feedback falls apart: the follow-up conversation never happens. You give someone clear direction, then check in six months later during their formal review.
Real feedback requires real follow-up. Zone Online's handling office politics training program recommends weekly five-minute check-ins after any significant feedback conversation. Not formal reviews, just quick "how's it going with the new approach?" conversations.
This isn't micromanaging if you frame it correctly: "I want to make sure you have what you need to succeed with this change."
The Emotional Intelligence Myth
There's this myth that giving direct feedback shows low emotional intelligence. Rubbish. Emotional intelligence means reading the room and choosing your timing, not wrapping every truth in layers of diplomatic nonsense.
High emotional intelligence means:
- Picking the right time and place
- Reading their emotional state before starting
- Adjusting your delivery style to their communication preferences
- Following up to ensure understanding
It doesn't mean avoiding difficult truths or pretending problems don't exist.
Making It Stick
The best feedback conversations end with commitment, not confusion. "So you're going to try the new approach in client meetings and we'll review how it's working next Friday afternoon. Sound good?"
Get verbal agreement. Set a follow-up time. Make it specific.
And here's something most managers miss: ask them how they want to receive feedback going forward. Some people prefer email summaries after verbal conversations. Others want real-time coaching. Some prefer private conversations, others don't mind public recognition of improvements.
The Real Cost of Soft Feedback
Poor feedback doesn't just hurt individual performance; it undermines team culture. When people don't know where they stand, they create their own narrative. Usually, they assume they're doing better than they are.
This creates resentment when review time comes around, confusion about priorities, and a culture where problems fester instead of getting solved.
What Actually Works in the Real World
After nearly two decades of watching feedback conversations, here's what creates actual change:
Timeliness. Address issues within days, not months.
Specificity. Describe exact behaviours and their impact.
Collaboration. Ask for their input on solutions.
Follow-through. Check in regularly on progress.
Recognition. Acknowledge improvements when they happen.
The goal isn't to make people feel good about feedback; it's to help them improve. Sometimes that's uncomfortable. That's normal.
Moving Forward
Your team doesn't need you to be their mate. They need you to be clear, fair, and helpful. They need to know where they stand and how to get better.
The feedback sandwich? Chuck it in the bin where it belongs. Try having an honest conversation instead. You might be surprised how well people respond to the truth delivered with respect.
Because at the end of the day, isn't helping someone improve the kindest thing you can do as a leader?
The best feedback is often the hardest to give. But that's exactly why it's worth giving.
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